Obviously, we adore New Mexico but, whenever we produce an article like “18 Reasons Living In New Mexico Is The Best – And Everyone Should Move Here,” readers beg us not to encourage others to relocate. Most New Mexicans are happy to welcome visitors to the Land of Enchantment, but that attitude shifts fast when people talk about permanently moving.
Look, we get why you want to keep New Mexico a secret. So we thought we’d help you to repel would-be transplants. Here are 15 reasons why people should stay far, far away from New Mexico:
- New Mexico is a foreign country.
Flickr/J Aaron Farr You definitely need a passport and a visa to visit.
- You can’t drink the water.
Flickr/Gioconda Beekman Guess you’ll have to live on margaritas instead!
- The only things that grow here are cacti and dust.
Flickr/Aileen’s Pics We couldn’t possibly grow roughly a quarter of the country’s pecan crop or the best chiles in the world right here in New Mexico.
- We have two temperatures: hot and hotter.
Flickr/petiteoiseau_noire Yep, definitely just the one season.
- Your skin will dry out until this guy could be mistaken for your cousin.
Flickr/tom spinker You can try to moisturize but there’s only so much you can do against dry heat.
- We’re routinely abducted and taken aboard spaceships, which is terrible for all the reasons you’re imagining…
Flickr/Brad Spry …but also because their in-flight movies suck.
- Other than that, nothing exciting happens in the square states. Everyone knows that all the action is on the coasts.
Flickr/CCV Student Services New Mexico is strictly a no-fun zone.
- We don’t have a coastline so summer is lame.
Flickr/Joel Deluxe No lakes or water sports or other outdoor activities to enjoy in the Land of Enchantment.
- Our wildlife will sting, bite, or generally try to murder you.
Flickr/Larry Lamsa Vicious, right?
- …if the tumbleweeds don’t get you first.
Flickr/Anders Nelson In spring you get bonus points for dodging them as you drive, but fifty extra if you can explode one with your bumper.
- We’re basically Arizona without the Grand Canyon so the scenery is monotonous.
Flickr/Brandon Ssssoooooooooooo monotonous.
Yawn. Bored now.
Flickr/Matt Hendrick
- There are more animals than people in New Mexico, so good luck making friends.
Flickr/Christopher Holden It’s a social desert. Not another person in sight.
- If you move here, you’ll have to eat chiles at every meal, including breakfast.
Flickr/Paul Asman and Jill Lenoble (Okay, this one’s kind of true.)
- You’re also required to work as a meth manufacturer. Just ask former Albuquerque teacher Walter White.
Flickr/National Nuclear Security Administration No jobs in government, tourism, energy or science. Not a one. Also, we don’t pay teachers enough, so they have to resort to making meth. Again, we don’t make the rules, just ask Walter.
- Santa Fe and Albuquerque are the only places in New Mexico.
Flickr/Jasperdo So if you’ve already visited them, there’s nothing else to see here folks. Move along.
In case we’ve repelled any locals, here’s a reminder of what you’d miss if you moved away.
Flickr/J Aaron Farr
You definitely need a passport and a visa to visit.
Flickr/Gioconda Beekman
Guess you’ll have to live on margaritas instead!
Flickr/Aileen’s Pics
We couldn’t possibly grow roughly a quarter of the country’s pecan crop or the best chiles in the world right here in New Mexico.
Flickr/petiteoiseau_noire
Yep, definitely just the one season.
Flickr/tom spinker
You can try to moisturize but there’s only so much you can do against dry heat.
Flickr/Brad Spry
…but also because their in-flight movies suck.
Flickr/CCV Student Services
New Mexico is strictly a no-fun zone.
Flickr/Joel Deluxe
No lakes or water sports or other outdoor activities to enjoy in the Land of Enchantment.
Flickr/Larry Lamsa
Vicious, right?
Flickr/Anders Nelson
In spring you get bonus points for dodging them as you drive, but fifty extra if you can explode one with your bumper.
Flickr/Brandon
Ssssoooooooooooo monotonous.
Flickr/Matt Hendrick
Flickr/Christopher Holden
It’s a social desert. Not another person in sight.
Flickr/Paul Asman and Jill Lenoble
(Okay, this one’s kind of true.)
Flickr/National Nuclear Security Administration
No jobs in government, tourism, energy or science. Not a one. Also, we don’t pay teachers enough, so they have to resort to making meth. Again, we don’t make the rules, just ask Walter.
Flickr/Jasperdo
So if you’ve already visited them, there’s nothing else to see here folks. Move along.
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Address: New Mexico, USA
The OIYS Visitor Center
Reasons Not To Move To New Mexico August 08, 2022 Tori Jane What are some bad things about living in New Mexico? Oh, man. New Mexico is the literal worst. We mean the worst. It’s ridiculously scenic, so we’re always catching ourselves with our heads in the clouds admiring the amazing natural beauty of the Land of Enchantment. It’s full of beautiful hot springs, but those are hot, so be careful. It’s got scenic drives, which can be dangerous, and the weather here is bizarre and unpredictable. There are even tornadoes from time to time! So, basically, you should never ever move to New Mexico. It’s a terrible place. Much too beautiful for us, thanks. What should I consider before moving to New Mexico? Okay, though, in all seriousness: moving to New Mexico is a good idea, but there are some things you’ll still want to consider before you go. Do know that New Mexico is the state with the highest crime rates in the nation; it’s been the “most dangerous” state in the United States over and over again. That being said, it’s still an amazing place, but there’s more to think about before a move. Are you prepared for occasional severe weather, including snowstorms in the higher elevations and tornadoes in the easternmost reaches of the state? Are you ready for some hot days with temperatures over 100 degrees (though they’re not super common)? Is the neighborhood (or the town) you’re moving to a safe one? Think about all these things and more when considering a major life change for just about anywhere – not only New Mexico. What is life in New Mexico like? Once you choose to pull the trigger and move, though, you’ll love this amazing place as much as we do. There are seemingly endless fun things to do outside in New Mexico, and the state parks in New Mexico are second to none. The landscape out here, all over the state, is outrageously scenic; we think it might just be one of the most beautiful destinations in the United States. It rarely gets overly hot or overly cold (though if you’re in one of the mountain towns of New Mexico, like Taos, this may differ), and the state has an incredibly vibrant arts scene. Native American culture is big here, and so is New Mexican cuisine. Check out some of our favorite restaurants in New Mexico next time you’re there.
The OIYS Visitor Center
Reasons Not To Move To New Mexico
August 08, 2022
Tori Jane
What are some bad things about living in New Mexico? Oh, man. New Mexico is the literal worst. We mean the worst. It’s ridiculously scenic, so we’re always catching ourselves with our heads in the clouds admiring the amazing natural beauty of the Land of Enchantment. It’s full of beautiful hot springs, but those are hot, so be careful. It’s got scenic drives, which can be dangerous, and the weather here is bizarre and unpredictable. There are even tornadoes from time to time! So, basically, you should never ever move to New Mexico. It’s a terrible place. Much too beautiful for us, thanks. What should I consider before moving to New Mexico? Okay, though, in all seriousness: moving to New Mexico is a good idea, but there are some things you’ll still want to consider before you go. Do know that New Mexico is the state with the highest crime rates in the nation; it’s been the “most dangerous” state in the United States over and over again. That being said, it’s still an amazing place, but there’s more to think about before a move. Are you prepared for occasional severe weather, including snowstorms in the higher elevations and tornadoes in the easternmost reaches of the state? Are you ready for some hot days with temperatures over 100 degrees (though they’re not super common)? Is the neighborhood (or the town) you’re moving to a safe one? Think about all these things and more when considering a major life change for just about anywhere – not only New Mexico. What is life in New Mexico like? Once you choose to pull the trigger and move, though, you’ll love this amazing place as much as we do. There are seemingly endless fun things to do outside in New Mexico, and the state parks in New Mexico are second to none. The landscape out here, all over the state, is outrageously scenic; we think it might just be one of the most beautiful destinations in the United States. It rarely gets overly hot or overly cold (though if you’re in one of the mountain towns of New Mexico, like Taos, this may differ), and the state has an incredibly vibrant arts scene. Native American culture is big here, and so is New Mexican cuisine. Check out some of our favorite restaurants in New Mexico next time you’re there.
The OIYS Visitor Center
The OIYS Visitor Center
Oh, man. New Mexico is the literal worst. We mean the worst. It’s ridiculously scenic, so we’re always catching ourselves with our heads in the clouds admiring the amazing natural beauty of the Land of Enchantment. It’s full of beautiful hot springs, but those are hot, so be careful. It’s got scenic drives, which can be dangerous, and the weather here is bizarre and unpredictable. There are even tornadoes from time to time! So, basically, you should never ever move to New Mexico. It’s a terrible place. Much too beautiful for us, thanks.
What should I consider before moving to New Mexico?
Okay, though, in all seriousness: moving to New Mexico is a good idea, but there are some things you’ll still want to consider before you go. Do know that New Mexico is the state with the highest crime rates in the nation; it’s been the “most dangerous” state in the United States over and over again. That being said, it’s still an amazing place, but there’s more to think about before a move. Are you prepared for occasional severe weather, including snowstorms in the higher elevations and tornadoes in the easternmost reaches of the state? Are you ready for some hot days with temperatures over 100 degrees (though they’re not super common)? Is the neighborhood (or the town) you’re moving to a safe one? Think about all these things and more when considering a major life change for just about anywhere – not only New Mexico.
What is life in New Mexico like?
Once you choose to pull the trigger and move, though, you’ll love this amazing place as much as we do. There are seemingly endless fun things to do outside in New Mexico, and the state parks in New Mexico are second to none. The landscape out here, all over the state, is outrageously scenic; we think it might just be one of the most beautiful destinations in the United States. It rarely gets overly hot or overly cold (though if you’re in one of the mountain towns of New Mexico, like Taos, this may differ), and the state has an incredibly vibrant arts scene. Native American culture is big here, and so is New Mexican cuisine. Check out some of our favorite restaurants in New Mexico next time you’re there.
